"rest" | a bitter post

No brewing at all, I'm afraid. I'm sitting in my kitchen with last count 9 boys in my backyard and my doors to the garage locked. I'm not being sweet or mean -- I'm tired. Have a dumb sinus infection via cold and I stayed back from the lake to get an extra day of rest -- and now I (deleted word) have a teenage party in my backyard. I guess I'm a bit weary -- you want to give your kids good/great experiences growing up -- like a pool -- hey, that's fun, we'll swim in the backyard with the kids. Hmmm -- we didn't foresee our awesome proximity to the center of everything and a pool with teenagers and Michigan's stupidly erratic, sometimes brutally hot weather. You don't have to be that savvy to realize this is a potential invite for social abuses, etc.

And so here I sit in my cluster . . .

I don't want to be crazy mom, but inside, brooding -- peering out the windows, I am. Plus, I just finished my favorite book, "City of Thieves" for at least the third time -- this one audio -- and am having my (can't spoil it) @#$$% reaction to that. I really would love to just be in my pool.

These kids would be fine if I knew who any of then were before the thermometer rose and the pool opened. It would seem a bit more genuine, but that may not at all be realistic. I do love now, being a parent and you look at these little forming adults (choice words held because in my heart of hearts, I know these kids will end up being good -- they'll be great people and potentially a doctor of mine someday -- most likely not -- because I'll kill Andre if we're still living in Michigan when these kids are of age to practice medicine) -- but anyway -- no true grief towards them. I feel bad for the boys with crazy hair-- they don't seem to know what to do with it and I can't even begin to imagine what they can do with that anyway. Fine-- they are all great. Why are they in my backyard?!

Okay -- the kids were all respectful and great. I cannot wait for the day Andre is home when all of this happens -- the outer drama, the inner drama -- figuring out how to deal with it all simultaneously and all the while trying to go about your own stuff as well. Good luck. Godspeed. Not sure if that is when you would actually use that phrase but what the hell -- it felt right.