that would never happen

Something nobody thought would happen is that a dumbass reality TV star/bully could actually rise to the most honored and powerful position in American/world politics

You find out that the reason you've felt like shit for 12 years wasn't because the horrific gray winters of the midwest or just not being able to keep up with the everyday little stuff of running a family that truly takes an enormous amount of energy -- but after a decade of a million doctor's appointments because you don't feel well or you're entering the world of chronic pain, you realize that this little optional procedure/device you did -- long ago -- altered your world (and thousands of other women's lives) forever.

The first comment is a world travesty.

The second statement is also a world travesty.

this blog will introduce you into a very shaky ground of medicine, government non-protection, big business, and yes -- i will dare to utter an underlying truth that everyone shirks at but nonetheless is true -- the treatment of women.

in 2007, after three high risk pregnancies resulting in a 26 weeker who has gorgeous auburn hair and is soulful and smart as a whip, a 38 weeker (yay! -- that's pretty much full term, fully baked after three months of bedrest), -- our beautiful daughter who carries all genes between our crazy mix but honors her father and grandfather with her skin from India and gorgeous brown eyes, and our 35 weeker who is a perfect combo of every gene out there -- probably already a member of an elite squad of something amazing - - think the quirkiest, sleekest james bondy type girl (prefer the old school reference vs new with a slow cooking time of four months bedrest) and you have our third daughter. okay, that's enough and your body is done and we were complete. i was told about a procedure that was amazing. it was super safe (FDA APPROVED -- watch "The Bleeding Edge" by Netflix), a no brainer. In my world, I thought, well -- i can't have any more kids so God forbid I'm in an accident and I (and our children) are gone and my husband eventually remarries (and of course he will go younger) and wants a family. I created a very good argument for why this procedure was appropriate.

Don't assume that anyone has your back.

This decision turned out to be something I wouldn't even know to regret until after a decade of suffering, depression, feeling like I was crazy -- feeling totally hopeless.

Again, this is why sometimes this is just a women's conversation because men get scared, irritated, nervous about all of this -- anyway, women don't deal with their own issues when there are other things around them that are pressing, scary, time-consuming, etc. We (not to exclude sympathetic men - feel free to relate) are the last to be advocates for OURSELVES. Sure, we'll make all the appointments for our kids, take care of our parents, drive everyone to endless activities, support our spouses as their career's gain momentum -- do the whole societal woman role thing in America that pretty much ends up sucking the life out of all of us. Why do you think we drink so much wine? It's simply too much. Men would crumble under the pressure -- and I love men -- I love my husband. He's brilliant, he's great at his job, he's a wonderful friend -- but if he had to do the parent trap switch with me for a week -- not just dad doing mom's stuff but the kids look at him and see mom and expect mom performance -- he would fucking freak out -- as would any normal person. It's a ridiculously complex, multi-tasked, multi-talented fairytale role that I'm not sure who made up -- but they were smoking Disney weed when they did it. I find our lives simply undoable and its driving me and a lot of my friends crazy.

Back to my mistake -- I did something called Essure -- that convenient, FDA APPROVED, procedure that at first we thought was a bummer because my uterus was perforated (a few days of pain, a few weeks of feeling uncomfortable -- we're women, we've endured month upon month, year upon year of periods, and then the beautiful (incredibly painful) experience of childbirth. Hormones. Teenage boys really experience the potency of them in adolescence -- girls get to experience them forever. Just so you know -- we really don't order up bleeding, grumpy moods, sadness, madness, cramps and backaches to get out of sex once a month -- hormones actually are real and suck for women.

So -- Essure. Perfed uterus -- that sucked. HSG is a test they do to follow up the procedure to make sure the fallopian tubes are blocked. My HSG went like this -- (I'm not using quotations because it isn't verbatum but more the gist of it all)

DOCTOR: Huh, it looks like one of the coils migrated.

Me: Okay

DOCTOR: Well, both tubes are scarred appropriately so you won't get pregnant (MISSION ACCOMPLISHED EVEN THOUGH I KIND OF FUCKED IT UP)

Me: Okay. (WHAT THE FUCK DO I EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS).

END OF APPOINTMENT

I switched OBs. A few year later, my next OB saw the migrated coil. We talked about it and she ACTUALLY ASKED ME WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO DO. (At this point -- thank GOD we didn't randomly try to take out this device that turns out to have an insanely high fracture rate and is made of PET fibers (they use those in stain free carpet) and nickel -- which made the top allergen list (esp in women) in 2008. Conceptus, the birth parent of this device, petitioned the FDA to remove the nickel warning and won --Yay, Conceptus!-- who sold off their shit show to Bayer). There must have been some issues because in 2016 the FDA slapped a black box warning on the device (the strictest warning) alerting patients that if they have autoimmune issues they should steer clear of the device. Huh -- is something going wrong in WonderDevice land? Why would you need that? All other countries removed the device from the market, realizing it was causing all sorts of issues with women. USA was the last to finally pull it.

to be continued . . .