another new day

written much earlier | just cleaning out the drafts drawer

A beautiful thing that I've discovered in life is that every day you get to start a new day. At times in my life I dreaded waking and starting all over again -- if felt like being on a gerbil's running wheel without making any progress at all -- just the constant movement that left me completely exhausted and mostly drained. Ambition was completely irrelevant when you are in that cycle because despite all the effort you exert, you're not going anywhere. When my mom was sick and each day I had to get up and go through one more day of being essentially powerless to stop the out of control spinning of our life, I almost had wished at the time that I wouldn't wake up at all.