you can try sometime, but you just might find -- you get what you need

you can't always get what you want

H O L I D A Y S

Perspective is required in quantum doses at the holidays as you receive your kids's holiday list and try to keep your eye on what is really important.

One of my daughters kind of got the shaft last year and she let us know it. It is always surprising when this one gets upset because she's so mellow. Yet she does have a bit of her father in her and it comes out particularly on Christmas morning. This year she calmly told me that she doesn't get it -- she, in not a whiny way, that of the three girls, she is the one who does the most for others. True. She then told me that she thinks that her good behavior will get rewarded and then Christmas comes and she always feels like she's been overlooked or slighted. I felt bad. I told her that she doesn't really help out because she doesn't tell me what she wants for Christmas, while her sisters provide me with their list (this year in Google Docs, with pictures and links). She said that she thought by not asking for too much, this would prove that she is not a greedy person -- a goodness that she assumes will work out for her. At this, one of my other daughters walked into the room and said, "It's Christmas, Darling, you have to be selfish." Wow. What do you honestly say to that? I mean, she knows all about the season of giving, less fortunate people -- conversations that we have over and over. I thanked her for her disturbing comment and left the room