why can't i get fired from this job . . .

no matter how hard I try?

Not sure if anyone remembers getting our holiday card last year. If you didn't get it, don't feel bad -- I either hadn't updated my addresses or simply wrote it out incorrectly. Regardless we (I) sent it out using our alias, "The Birmingham Family." I seriously did not see that tiny tiny font that was underneath the picture. We (I) blotted out the overlooked detail on some of the cards with cute little red dots that kind of looked like holly, making it very authentic, a signed lithograph of sorts. Another year I put a dead fish on the back of the card to see see how much anyone really paid attention to these cards. Hardly anyone noticed so I was correct in my assumption that most people tear into the envelope, glance over the family pic and throw it into a dish with a bunch of other holiday cards. Even after Photoshopping our family with a saw in rural Michigan onto a ski slope in Utah, and actually writing, "Hope next year doesn't suck as much as 2010 (after both of our parents died), I still have the job.

So this afternoon, I'm sitting at my computer, tasked again with holiday cards. Here were a few of my favorite options: (from left to right down the grid -- you know how it goes).

A bolder use of another alias, Partially covering up family members with an elegant font, Boldly blocking out family members with a heartier font, I honestly didn't make this up -- it was a Minted option, Andre and I peeking through birch trees, Including Andre's Utah family, Framing Andre in all his joyfulness Oh this is my favorite option -- Blocking the parents out in a subtle way, and finally -- a little dig at Andre with a queen reference (which is applicable to anyone in our family actually).

Happy Holidays!